I tell people to set motivating targets and goals. In fact, this is a very powerful process that motivates. Unfortunately, because of the bad rep of motivation, it seems like many people who are planing their goals never achieve them, then this leads to them thinking that motivation is a sham.

Motivation is a STATE. You learn to control your states, and you will control the results that you get in your life. If you think that motivation is temporary, you’re right! in fact everything you do is temporary. If you want to get results, you need to constantly put yourself in the right STATE.

Many people find this an inconvenient fact. Yet, I know more so than many people that it is a question of knowing that you can habitualize this and turn this into your own personal success story.

Yet, there are people who set goals, never achieve them and then feel ashamed to talk about their failure. I think we need to eliminate the misconceptions of failure. Firstly, it is true that you should stop blaming, even yourself. It’s a fact that we fail a lot of the times. If you are not ready for failure, then you are going to be set for even more failure. Question there is: “are you ready to bounce back up?”

If you feel ashamed, it’s never going to help people to get back on track. These are the people who give up as a result of guilt and shame. Let me explore what’s going on here.

When you set a goal to, say, build a $100,000 income, you realize that there is a lot of tension. You are hopeful. But when you put in your heart and sweat into it, you may find that there is plenty of doubt. Self-talk creeps in and says “can I really do it”. The main problem is because you never looked at your strategy in the first place.

If you want  to do something, you need the how-to first. Once you know how to do something, it will make your pathway clearer. But if you lack the knowledge in running a business, you should be contacting a decent coach to get you on your way.

Many people in Asia are resistant about getting and selecting a coach. This is going to be one of your biggest problems: learning how to use a coach. But more about that later.

Once you have a good coach, don’t expect this person to nanny you. Be proactive. Make sure you do what is expected of you. Your coach will know what you do well and what you don’t do well simply by your feedback related to what you do and how you do it. The main reason for the coach is to help buffer your beliefs. Often, we go into a downward spiral and it will take someone from the outside to pick you up.

It’s not necessary to feel shame or guilt when experiencing failure. In fact, it’s counterproductive. While you spend more time feeling guilty, the more resilient people are picking themselves up and going to the next wall. A good way of handling this is to really focus on reflecting on what you need to do instead. It’s bad enough to know you screwed up — what are you going to do about it? How can that drive you toward success?

Personally, I think the best way to handle failure is to look at it and upgrade your expectations about yourself. Yep - learn to believe MORE in what you do. If you have any doubt about it, you should really put my MP3s into your ears and keep listening to them over and over until they stick in your brain. :) Think of it as your mental anti-biotics to fight the negative flu.

In the meanwhile, constantly remind yourself to focus on your outcome and keep moving. Surround yourself with reminders and put yourself to the test. As long as you have one more breath within you, you should have the capability to be better with each reflection.