Attachment - Boon Or Bane?
In most parts of psychotherapy, people believe that the attachment issue creates problems. For instance, if you were a child and you felt too much “attachement” to your mother, it would give rise to problems in school.
But attachment was a natural, God-given instinct.
Somewhere along the line, we got detached. Today, I meet seminar participants who are detached, from reality, their family, from their dreams and anything else that hurts them.
Today, someone is given praise and they say “not to my credit”, “it’s just luck” or “who am I kidding”. Today, someone is told to go out and grab their dream, and they say “not possible”, “I can’t do it” or “too many people have already done it”.
DUH! “I can’t do it” but “too many people have already done it”?!
If too many people are already doing it means you can’t do it, does it mean that I should just shoot you to death because there are many people on the planet already?
No way!
Everyone should LEARN to RE-attach themselves. Find something you care about. Anything. We were supposed to be attached to our dreams, our goals, our desires so we could make it happen.
Look at the world of couples. People are getting detached from each other, and I think it’s a serious problem. Too much - leading to divorce, breakups… Look at family systems today… the relationships between teacher and student.
Few, if at all, are worth bragging about. And I can tell a good relationship when I see one. If you aren’t taking your time to get attached, you won’t know how difficult it is to find your way into another person’s life. But once you find your fit, remember - you just have to keep finding it because people change and circumstances change.
It’s true that when you open yourself to attachment, just like that child to his mother, you leave yourself vulnerable to hurt. Yet, in all the wisdom in the world, we know that sad and happiness exist only because of each other.
Maybe it’s time to re-connect. First with ourselves, then with other people, then with the rest of the world.
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Tags
Deep Thought, Emotions, General
November 24th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
I like this post! Connection is very important as a human being. First with ourselves than with the world, or people who matters.
“If too many people are already doing it means you can’t do it, does it mean that I should just shoot you to death because there are many people on the planet already?”
Ha ha ha :D Good one
Just because others have done it doesn’t auto preclude you from that planet. We have different resources to pull from and also different ideas and information to provide.
November 27th, 2006 at 11:16 am
Exactly.
I’ve once heard that people are stuck to
consistency.
Which is also the reason why, we human,
stick to Coca-Cola(Coke) instead of Pepsi,
ALTHOUGH we all agree Pepsi tastes nicer.
Nice post,
Seth
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