Harrison Ford: Who the hell are you? What do you want?

Michael Douglas: Nothing. I’m wearing these cool shades meant for people half my age, waiting to take a bullet for the President whom people think I’m going to kill.

Harrison: Wait a minute. I’m the one being framed here. They want $100 million from the top 10,000 bank accounts at my company.

Michael: Yes, yes. I’ve heard that all before. I’m from the Secret Service.

Harrison: If you are from the Secret Service, how come everyone knows about it?

Michael: Shut up.

Harrison: That’s what the bank robbers told me. Are you a bank robber?

Michael: No. I’m just having an affair with the First Lady. I think it’s great leaving the curtains open not just because it’s real cool to have people peeping through, it’s a great way for someone with a telescopic camera to catch me in the act so that the damned show can go on.

Harrison: I thought I was stupid. You’re worse.

Michael: It’s supposed to be a cool show. The best part is I don’t bleed as much as you.

Harrison: Shut up.

Michael: It’s so uncool killing the top bad guy with a rusty pick!

Harrison: It was in the freakin’ script!

Michael: Tell you what. Why don’t you join the Secret Service? I’ll wipe off the $90,000 gambling debt you have.

Harrison: I don’t gamble. I was set up by someone having my identity stolen.

Michael: Riiiiiight…

Harrison: If I join the Secret Service, do I get to have an affair with the First Lady?

Michael: (cracking knuckles) You just try…

Harrision: (waving hands) Nah… not my time.

Michael: But both of us could, you know. I mean I was on the West Wing as President and you were on Air Force One as President. It’s kinda getting all complicated.

Harrison: Yeah - wasn’t Keifer Sutherland supposed to be in “24 hours” protecting the president too? I thought he walked out from the wrong movie!

Neo: What’s that?

Harrison and Michael: Shut Up!

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