Stuart’s Philosophies

The big FIRST issue about money making is not about the business plan, or about the marketing plan, or anything of that sort. It’s about the people you know and how you can help them through your business. It’s kind of a reciprocal thing. Think about who you are making friends with right now. In about 5 to 7 years, where do you see them? Will they be successful? Or will they disappear into nothingness?

I know for many people, it seems cavalier to have to measure the value of friendship this way. Unfortunately, if you look at the reality of the situation, every friend has a utilitarian value. This is one of the reasons why you have different friends for different reasons. This is also why you used to have great friends, but you drifted apart after some time, never needing to contact each other again.

I’m obviously not saying that you have to always make use of your friends. I’m saying that you need to cast your net wide and purposefully see how you can help your friends out. In truth, human beings tend to not forget when you have shown them some kindness. If you help them, you’ll be building your human goodwill account. This network will get activated whether you like it or not. So in the first few years prior to starting your business, ask yourself how you have been treating people? Have you been right with them? Have you been able to help? Show compassion? If you couldn’t provide monetary aid, did you do so in kind?

Sometimes, the network is deliberately created. I know for instance, that networking sessions give you an excuse to go rub shoulders with people of importance. But most people do it wrong. They might:

1. Directly engage in business talk without small talk first. Usually this is a sign that there is little interest in you as a person. You’re treating your network like a commodity, and this is a dangerous thing to do. Look into their personal life and needs. I know for instance, that sometimes, without helping someone deal with his personal needs first, he won’t be in the right frame of mind to deal with your business needs.

2. Show off. This is not always a bad thing - I know there are clients who deliberately test you to see whether you know a thing or two. Of course, there are those who want to build a network but start off by showing off. Bad call. The extent to which you show off is the extent your actions prove your humility first. And even so, you can’t show off deliberately. Modesty and humility is a virtue in many cultures, so do show yourself to be willing to do the dirty work first, and you’ll find it’s so much less easy for people to accuse you of being arrogant and pompous.

3. Hang around the big guns only. Ok, this is really irritating. I remember there was one seminar I was at, and this woman (I think she was from out of town) was literally stalking every conference speaker. Each moment, this woman was asking question after question, refusing to let go .She kept intruding on the speakers’ meal times and break times. And guess what - she only spoke to people in the conference whom she considered ‘worth talking to’. I think this is silly. People always progress and improve, so you’ll have to have patience. Some people succeed because the opportunity strikes, and for all you know, a potential ally is lost because you refused to talk to a ‘nobody’. No one ever remains a ‘nobody’ all their lives, and there will always be people in their prime who get stuck and take a tumble.

So what should you do?

I think the first thing is to treat everyone with an ounce of respect, no matter how young, how old, how new or biased you might initially feel. You might be wrong! Next, I strongly suggest that you consider connecting with them at a personal level. This will help you understand their values and priorities better, thus giving you a better idea how your business proposals can actually aid them rather than be added as another ‘to do’ on the list.

Remember - the money is not in the product or service or plan. It’s in the way you build a powerful relationship with your network of friends.

Tags

General, Wealth Building