Imperfection: Light Your Darkest Hour

It’s the ‘ol ‘healer, heal thyself’ problem, cropping up.

 

Someone asked me if I was perfect. I laughed. The egotistical answer is “Yes”. The real answer is “No”. More importantly, I don’t really think I want to be perfect.

 

Still, the irony of reality revolves around me. I teach excellence, yet, I know I’m not excellent always. I am a counselor, but I occasionally need counseling. I show people how to manage their states, but I don’t always manage by states well.

 

Inherent in all this is one word: imperfection.

 

So do I expect perfection from people? Unfortunately, sometimes, I do. It’s good and bad all at the same time. Do I think that some people expect too much from me? Unfortunately, sometimes I do. Would anyone suggest that it is a double standard in the life I live? Well… the honest truth is, I believe double standards happen in many people’s lives including mine at least some of the time. Do I like it or condone it? No. But when I realize it, it is often after the fact. Then, it is time to make amends or to pay attention on remedy.

 

To illustrate, Jim is a person who has a high level of “integrity”. Where did he learn it from? Because he was betrayed by a friend before, and feels horrible from that betrayal. He sits out his emotional anguish, and then vows never to let that happen again. Three years later, Jim (being a person of “integrity” who has vowed never to betray other people, and preaches it everywhere he goes) fails to realize he is doing this in ‘betrayal’. He didn’t attempt to mend the relationship. Do we classify that as ‘betrayal’ too? He keeps telling other people why they should have integrity, indirectly attacking his former friend. Do we classify that as ‘betrayal’?

 

As with life, there are no certain rules that govern what is right or wrong. We are a living paradox. Have you discovered that the more you promise something, the more likely you will end up breaking that promise? That the more strongly you believe in something, the more likely you will be accused of being a hypocrite? Well, I’m not saying that we have to stop doing things like that. But if we do, we need to consider the consequences of these beliefs, and accept some human frailty, and never be discouraged just because something happens outside of our desired character.

 

But being affected by negativity (no matter how silly we know it is) is a reality - we can still be affected and afflicted by it. Well, if you are human, of course.

 

Life is never always a bed of roses with a 24/7 rainbow over it. Looks nice, but so unreal.

 

In fact, I am thankful that my life is faced with sometimes painful dilemmas and when reconciliations are needed. It turns me psychologically stark naked, and forces me to stare at the “psychological cellulite” – the blemishes and the imperfections that I have. And through these, I learn about myself when I am alone to face them, cringing, myself. And I show people some of these to tell them that I ain’t perfect. And hey – even if you don’t have cellulite doesn’t make you perfect.

 

I guess I put myself in a spot sometimes. Being honest therefore, also means confronting that which I fear most – truth. It’s like being in a dark room, and getting used to being there. When a crack of light enters the room, it is blinding. It can be painful. And I know some people have been there before. But to cringe and to avoid the light is not the best thing to do, because the more you face the light, the easier it will be, and the darkness becomes less comforting to be in.

 

Every day is a blend of darkness and light. Every moment is time appearing and disappearing. Every moment is happiness and sadness in bittersweet tandem. And in unraveling the ironic moments of our lives, we either get skeptical and ugly, or we get enlightened and humble.

 

You can’t just ignore what the world throws at you. If the don’t like you, they don’t! If they are upset at you, they are! If they discriminate against you for your race, that’s life! But never should there be a time where you ignore them.

 

If people don’t like me, and tell me ‘I don’t like you’, it’s a stabbing. Accept this gift. Open it up. Really take good clear look. Beyond the blade, what do you see that can help you grow?

 

If someone tells me ‘I hate you’, I listen… not just to the words, but the message. A blinding light in a dark room. Ouch. Feel it. Learn. Let the truth illuminate your darkness and light your darkest hour.

 

 

Visit www.stuarttan.com today!