Oversensitivity

Have you ever had a conversation about something where someone suddenly became offended at what you said? I encountered that, and it was hilarious. For some of you, you know the joke I tell about the professor who crossed the river and victimized the boatman? Someone came up to me today and told me that I should stop telling that joke because there might be Ph.D. holders in the audience.

 

I was curious to see that someone with such a high level of education couldn’t tell the difference between a joke and a sarcastic comment. From my own perspective, EQ is severely lacking in this person. Or anyone who can’t take an honest joke. I mean, someone may deliberately crack a joke to irk someone, but I’ve never found someone who had a successful family, interpersonal career and wasn’t able to handle a joke. I’ll bet if that person gets to read my blog, this person will probably complain to the government and ask for my arrest or something. Sheesh.

 

Look – I’ve had tons of Ph.Ds in my audience, who are now close friends. Many of them have great careers and a wonderful reputation. And they laugh at this joke. If you can’t handle an honest joke (I mean, I’m discounting those targeted to destroy people’s feelings), you need to take a good close look at yourself and change your perspective. So, I’m sorry you were hurt when I wasn’t shooting you.

 

It looks like a neurosis… they call it a hallucination.

 

In any case, over sensitivity… is it something in our genes? Past lives? Habits? I’ve always learnt that different people react to things differently. I feel that with whatever flaws we have, we must never lose our sense of humor. In reality, oversensitivity appears to be a protection mechanism that has not been updated. I mean, it’s like your computer firing up an anti-virus message not just for real threats, but for every email that comes through.

 

Such experiences are highly indicative of poorly fostered self-esteem. I was told yesterday at another preview that Albert Einstein was a genius but a terrible parent. So much for high IQ paving the way to your success, yes?

 

If you have a great self-esteem, you create a great environment for people to be around you. I remember moments where I felt terrified sitting next to a depressed person. It just felt so negative. At the same time, someone with a poor self image is activating really huge amounts of “away-froms” even though the threat isn’t even there. It’s a perceived threat.

 

It reminds me of the time when a friend told me that someone we mutually know called me names behind my back. He claimed I was arrogant and pompous. Well… when someone makes a judgment about me like that, it probably means he hasn’t got much information about me. At the same time, I recognized that he could easily perceive me that way. Rather than being upset, I kept an open mind and gave him the chance to know me better. That way, I ended up being more than just ‘pompous’. He had better descriptions about me after our next meeting, and being friends is far better than being enemies.

 

To consider if you are truly humble, you’ll be able to take this litmus test – when people tell you you’re wrong, you agree you are wrong. When people poke fun at you, you poke yourself too. When you find that something sensitive has been breached, you’ll peel that layer away to find out what you have been hiding and stop hiding behind a false front. Then and only then will you get a sense of what it means to be human and release emotional baggage that shouldn’t be due to you.

 

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