Hello Arisa!

—–Original Message—–
From: arisa siong

Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 11:27 PM
To: Stuart
Subject: Re: Arisa’s comments about Trust

Hey Stuart,

  Even better to see your reply!  I would like to add or agree:

Definitions are but a means of communication in this world, at least

that’s my perceptions.  So yah, when I say everything stems from

beliefs, I mean you have to believe in something before it’s there, if

I believe the sky is blue, it is, if I believe I live in a world where

green is the new blue then the sky is green.  You have to believe in a

fact to make it a fact.  That’s how people get delusional isn’t it,

they have pretty screwed up beliefs.

Well, delusional people can’t tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t.

I agree consistency and perspective counts, but say it’s a blank

sheet, the are certain factors that makes a person more trust worthy

than others.  Perhaps it’s the ability to build rapport or otherwise,

but trust is created, well I guess it can be to some degree in some

cases transferable or referable as well, definitely the key will be

how to build on it, how do I get from I trust you yeah… to I trust

you completely.  It’s important, because to make people listen and

believe you, you need to be trustworthy.

Proof! Give people proof of trustworthiness through rapport. I’ve got an NLP Update coming up soon on Ultimate Rapport Building. You’ll like it, cos it literally ‘peels away’ the layers.

So if the question is not who can you trust, but how do you get some

one to trust you, then the answer will probably almost work in the

other direction but in a more controversial way, right?  I mean, it’s

almost like doing business, you have to have your customer feel like a

friend, make him place trust in what you’re telling him, and then get

the business deal closed.  It’s like having to parade around your

track record and proven consistency, hoping it will match up to

different standards that people have on the issue of trust.  So if I’m

getting a total stranger to put trust in me, then it will be a matter

of understand that trust stems from values and eliciting those values

to the person you seek to gain trust.  Then it all gets superficial

but it doesn’t matter in general in business does it?

Wah – business has this thing called ‘ethics’. If you read about it, Enron, WorldCom and other huge businesses flouted it ONCE, and they were out of business. Loot at ACCS in Singapore, look at Informatics… huge companies went bust because of a lack of transparency. It’s NOT superficial!

Trust is two way, how do I get Jim to trust me is just a different

perspective of who should Jim trust, me or Tom?  I know it’s about

showing consistency, building rapport, that values is important in

determining who Jim trusts, but is that all?

Good point! My suggestion – don’t rely on others before you are ‘trustworthy’. BE trustworthy and you’ll attract it reciprocally.

What is the ultimate success formula to gaining trust?

Pace and lead (stuff in module 2 of POE)

So let me know if you have any insights.  Just an update, I have

progressed into doing my Msc in Economics now, that all important

module 3 goal which required lots of focus while staying on a swinging

beam of getting my first class honous has realised.  Took a little

longer route than I would have liked to, but nonetheless a job done is

a job done.  So it’ll be another year before I’m back in Singapore for

good.  It will probably be Woosh 21 or something already by then.

Congratulations on your new interest in internet marketing and

expanding regionally. 

WOW! Sounds great – you should write us back a note on your achievements… it’s nice to hear all this coming from you. Keep in touch!!

How many years left to the big IPO goal?

Three.